Something Clever

Shit

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:28:22 GMT

Last night Caleb Schaber - aka Shady, Stabber, Shooter...etc - shot and killed himself.

He was an asshole, a shit disturber, a danger whore...it was his art. He's probably the only person I ever enjoyed having piss me off, in that I doubt I'm alone.

He will be missed.

Fuck you Shooter.

Rest in Peace.

The Storyteller

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:13:52 GMT

There are some people who, without seeming to try very hard at all, manage to enrich the lives of those around them. Who inspire the rest of us to work harder than we would have on our own, to share more of ourselves, be more generous with our energy. Dave Ponkey is one of those people. Many people know him only as the Storyteller.

Yesterday, he ended his battle with cancer. To say that he will be missed is so inadequate, saying it is a little ridiculous. But Dave was pretty ridiculous, so that's okay.

HR 875 and Hype

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 02:30:10 GMT

Whew, there are a lot of people out there making statements about this bill without reading the full text. Out of context, certain sections do make it appear that some serious big brother shit is going on. You have to read and assimilate the WHOLE THING.

It is not going to be verboten to grow your own food or to give away food you grow. It will be more complicated, and potentially more expensive, to sell homegrown produce, slaughtered animals or animal products and seafood. It is not going to infringe upon your right to practice your religion. It will make it virtually impossible for a peanut processing plant to intentionally ignore salmonella contamination.

Read the full text, decide what is most important to you, then let your representatives know.

As always:
Your Survival May Depend Upon Your Reading Comprehension

Fidelity

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:26:38 GMT

This started out as a reply to a very valid question posted by kid_lit_fan here, but it got long and I thought that she might not be the only one asking, so...

There are some people to whom no argument will ever appeal. There are still enough parents who disown their queer kids, or believe that sexual orientation is a choice, or think that homosexual sex is just to yucky to be legal, or think that we should legislate their bible, or who find it threatening, or don't/can't/won't understand the difference between homosexuality and pedophelia

There are a lot of people who will not listen to reason or logic if it is counter to their presently held beliefs and who think that faith is more important than thought. This video is not for them.

This video is for the people who don't already get that homosexual marriages (and families) are exactly like heterosexual marriages and that discrimination doesn't just hurt the couples. It's to bring to people who don't quite get it on their own that it is abominable to divorce people against their will. It's also putting the language out there.

Millions of people are under the impression that this is a semantic argument, that "marriage" is for straights and "civil unions" are for gays but that all the same rights are granted (and that "civil unions" actually exist on some kind of reasonable scale). A marriage between two living partners ends in DIVORCE which most of the population easily associates with pain and expense and turmoil and shame. A civil union is dissolved or invalidated, words which are more likely to be associated with cleaning products and paperwork errors. I'd rather my marriage didn't sound like something that can be washed away.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:17:22 GMT

Also, I have a real live interview with a genuine business. I'd be (will be?...please?) the scheduler for a home care agency.

Please everyone think really good thoughts at me. I, for my part, will not fall down at their feet and beg them to take me on but instead will act personable, savvy and exquisitely hireable.

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:01:11 GMT

Self cleaning ovens are magical. It made about a half a cup of solidly baked on turkey grease disappear. I take back every thought I've ever had that I'd prefer a gas oven/stove over electric.

Completely magic.

Now for something educational

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:51:53 GMT

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

If you would like to add your name to a letter to the Supreme Court asking that they overturn Prop 8 you can do so here: http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce.

To see more of the photo project, the slideshow is here: http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/content/dontdivorce some of the pictures are really good.

If you would like to send in a photo with your sign, you can email it to pleasedontdivorce@couragecampaign.org.

Library Manners

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 03:33:46 GMT

So what do you do about a woman who, every 15 minutes or so gets up from her workstation, goes into the public bathroom and wails as loud and as hard as she can for about ten minutes? When I go in to check on her she hides in a stall and pretends not to be there, at first I was afraid she was having a seizure or slitting her wrists, but eventually she comes out looking right as rain and goes back to her workstation.

Bid for attention? Social science experiment?

Weird.

Can't Rain on My Parade

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:59:59 GMT

Phooey on all the naysayers.

I love our new President.

I am positively giddy that our President is more intelligent and better spoken than I am.

I get chills of awe that we have someone in the Oval Office who has a clue what uncertainty and hardship and discrimination are about.

I roll my eyes at all the silly, silly predictions of doom over ending the war and redistribution of wealth and healthcare for all. Fools I say, the people who are frothing to pick over any nuance to find something not to like.

Think about it for a minute. I bet you don't even like every single little thing you yourself do.

I have hope. I believe in positive changes to come.

For perhaps the first time in my life I understand what people are talking about when they say they are Proud to be an American.

So go take a piss in your own Cheerios ye bitter conservatives, mine are inviolable.

I'm the Green Fairy

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 07:57:28 GMT

So, absinthe. Lovely green drink which tastes of anise and fairy dust.

This year, at Dickens' Fair, I am not only pushing your standard legal intoxicants, I am pushing absinthe.

Absinthe? you say, real absinthe? But isn't that illegal? Won't it make me hallucinate, get addicted, write tortured poetry and die?

Yes it is real and legal, but since we are not engaging in the semi-traditional addition of laudanum those pesky 19th century side effects fall under the heading of 'Not Christmassy Enough' and are therefore banished. What is real however is the wormwood and the 10ppm of thujone it adds to the mix. What this means for you, my pushees, is that the sluggish is taken out of your drunk.

And that's what makes it so sparkly.

So come on down and tell your friends, you'll find us in the darkest corner next to Mad Sal's Bar, glowing green.

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:50:54 GMT

I am getting a little numb to hearing about more people being laid-off. Part of me says, "well at least it's not just me," and the rest of me says "fuck, more competition."

I got a phone interview for a job today (yesterday now). Yet another office that laid off 6 people and wants one person to replace them all. At least I didn't have to get dressed up for it.

Oh please, ye employed, point out to your bosses, your HR departments, your office managers, that you can not hire one person to do bookeeping, reception, sales, marketing, IT and administration. This goes double if you have more than about 15 employees or any kind of call volume whatsoever. Also, as a general rule, salespeople are not bookkeepers and IT people don't do marketing. At least, if you are going to overload one desperate individual, consolidate jobs which make sense together.

With luck, I will soon have a job where I don't have to do payroll and change diapers, or manage shipping and do tarot readings, or do cold calls and collections call. I don't want to have to do the boss's laundry or take their kids to the orthodontist. I do want fair pay and dignity. I don't want that to be too much to ask for.

So, I'm putting it out there. Dear Universe, Dear Santa, Dear Hannukah Fairy, I'm wishing for a job by New Years.

Shiny

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:22:00 GMT

New LJ styles. New userpic too.

You know what else is shiny? Christmas.

Especially when you add absinthe.

Which is what you can get shortly at Dickens' Christmas Fair.

http://dickensfair.com/

First weekend I can get you in free, after that I can get you in cheap.

First Buttered Rum is on me.

Hopefully not literally (again).

Legal Groups File Lawsuit Challenging Proposition 8, Should It Pass

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:32:25 GMT

Legal Papers Claim Initiative Procedure Cannot Be Used To Undermine the Constitution's Core Commitment To Equality For Everyone

SAN FRANCISCO – The American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights filed a writ petition before the California Supreme Court today urging the court to invalidate Proposition 8 if it passes. The petition charges that Proposition 8 is invalid because the initiative process was improperly used in an attempt to undo the constitution's core commitment to equality for everyone by eliminating a fundamental right from just one group – lesbian and gay Californians. Proposition 8 also improperly attempts to prevent the courts from exercising their essential constitutional role of protecting the equal protection rights of minorities. According to the California Constitution, such radical changes to the organizing principles of state government cannot be made by simple majority vote through the initiative process, but instead must, at a minimum, go through the state legislature first.

The California Constitution itself sets out two ways to alter the document that sets the most basic rules about how state government works. Through the initiative process, voters can make relatively small changes to the constitution. But any measure that would change the underlying principles of the constitution must first be approved by the legislature before being submitted to the voters. That didn't happen with Proposition 8, and that's why it's invalid.

"If the voters approved an initiative that took the right to free speech away from women, but not from men, everyone would agree that such a measure conflicts with the basic ideals of equality enshrined in our constitution. Proposition 8 suffers from the same flaw – it removes a protected constitutional right – here, the right to marry – not from all Californians, but just from one group of us," said Jenny Pizer, a staff attorney with Lambda Legal. "That's too big a change in the principles of our constitution to be made just by a bare majority of voters."

"A major purpose of the constitution is to protect minorities from majorities. Because changing that principle is a fundamental change to the organizing principles of the constitution itself, only the legislature can initiate such revisions to the constitution," added Elizabeth Gill, a staff attorney with the ACLU of Northern California.

The groups filed the lawsuit today in the California Supreme Court on behalf of Equality California and 6 same-sex couples who did not marry before Tuesday's election but would like to be able to marry now.

The groups filed a writ petition in the California Supreme Court before the elections presenting similar arguments because they believed the initiative should not have appeared on the ballot, but the court dismissed that petition without addressing its merits. That earlier order is not precedent here.

"Historically, courts are reluctant to get involved in disputes if they can avoid doing so," said Shannon Minter, Legal Director of NCLR. "It is not uncommon for the court to wait to see what happens at the polls before considering these legal arguments. However, now that Proposition 8 may pass, the courts will have to weigh in and we believe they will agree that Proposition 8 should never have been on the ballot in the first place."

This would not be the first time the court has struck down an improper voter initiative. In 1990, the court stuck down an initiative that would have added a provision to the California Constitution stating that the "Constitution shall not be construed by the courts to afford greater rights to criminal defendants than those afforded by the Constitution of the United States." That measure was invalid because it improperly attempted to strip California's courts of their role as independent interpreters of the state's constitution.

In a statement issued earlier today, the groups stated their conviction, which is shared by the California Attorney General, that the state must continue to honor the marriages of the 18,000 lesbian and gay couples who have already married in California.

A copy of the statement is available at: www.aclu.org/lgbt/relationships/37701prs20081105.html.

A copy of the writ petition filed today is available at: www.aclu.org/lgbt/relationships/37709lgl20081105.html.

In addition to the ACLU, Lambda Legal and NCLR, the legal team bringing the writ also includes the Law Office of David C. Codell; Munger Tolles & Olson, LLP; and Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe, LLP.

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 22:36:44 GMT

Taking a quick break from the polls for lunch and to go vote.

At least 90% of people driving by are supportive.

Getting flipped off by little old ladies is hilarious. 3 so far.

Been called faggit 4 times. I also find this extremely funny. I don't know why.

If you have the time I recommend getting out there and showing support for whatever you believe in.

Only Partially a Political Post

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:37:12 GMT

If you do decide to go out and voice your support for or against any political issue, bring a friend. Some of these issues are really bringing out the worst in people, so safety in numbers, just in case.

Remember that the law now requires your headlights to be on when your wipers are.

Be extra careful if you are on two wheels when it's wet (better yet, take a car or public transit). On Saturday Kaellie, Martin and I witnessed a scooter wipe out on the Muni tracks. He probably only bruised his ribs and scraped up his knee, thanks to the fact that he was wearing a full face helmet. If it had been a 1/2 or 3/4 helmet the right half of his face would have been scraped off and his jaw broken or dislocated (if he had been wearing no helmet he would have fractured his orbital socket too). He should have been wearing an armored jacket, pants and boots, he would have saved himself from the road rash. Sure it's expensive, but so is reconstructive surgery.

Take care of yourselves.

Clarification

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:50:17 GMT

If you want to retain the existing rights for homosexuals to marry Vote NO

If you want to eliminate rights of homosexuals to marry vote yes.

The misinformation is being intentionally spread by some in the anti-gay marriage camp, causing wrong way voting.

Please tell everyone you know to vote NO on discrimination. It is unfair and wrong to eliminate fundamental rights.

I'll be working outside the polls in Sonoma County to help make sure that voters are aware. If you have any free time on Tuesday, the No on 8 campaign could still use help.

Go here http://www.noonprop8.com/action/field-offices to get in touch with the field office nearest you. They also have lots of No on 8 lawn and window signs for free if you'd like to show your support that way.

I'm going around today posting signs wherever I can do so legally. If you know anyone in Sonoma County who might want a sign but has not been able to get one, let me know and I will deliver.

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 09:15:54 GMT

It's late and I can't sleep and I just finished re-reading Nigger - the autobiography of Dick Gregory - and it occurs to me...maybe this is the first time a group is fighting for expanded rights and segregation.

I'm making my case for the right not to marry someone of the opposite gender and still enjoy the benefits of marriage.

* * * * *

I wonder about the kids born in the 2000's who will have always lived in a world where somewhere in the country gay marriage was legal. And where the internet provides everyone the chance to hear new ideas. And where, for as long as they can remember, any Christian really can run for President. And maybe before 2025 they'll look around and say, "Isn't it weird that gay people can't be married everywhere in the country?" And with them outnumbering the old folks who still think that their hetero marriage is diminished if homos can have one too, the constitutions are rewritten for inclusivity. And their kids will grow up and say "Isn't it weird that we care more about someone's religion than their integrity?" And then they will outnumber...

And pedophilia will still be illegal.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 02:06:14 GMT

Kaellie and I are legally married.

My great-uncle has a new kidney.

Life is pretty good.

Hate

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 07:42:13 GMT

Last week Anna and Jen came by and planted a No on 8 sign in my yard.

Yesterday someone stole it in broad daylight (I did expect it to be stolen, but at night when our many very nosy neighbors were off guard).

Kaellie replaced it with a sign that reads:

Notice:
Due to the Unlawful, Un-Christian, and Un-American
Vandalism/ Theft of our private property
(the No on Prop 8 Sign that was posted here)
we are no longer celebrating Halloween 2008.
You may thank your close-minded, bigoted neighbors.
(Hopefully they have candy for you.)
VOTE NO ON PROP 8

I think tomorrow I'm going to post a bunch more...Hate is not a Family Value...Thou Shalt Not Steal...and all the relavent rebuttals for the Yes on 8 campain lies about teaching the homosexual lifestyle in school and churches losing tax exempt status.

If you have anything clever to add, please do.

We've spent the last many years doing it up big for the neighborhood on Halloween, so we're sort of out of the events loop. How is Castro for Halloween? I had stopped going after the spectators got a little too rough. I finally have a Wednesday Addams dress, and I think it oughtn't go to waste. I also made a Marie Antoinette doll that I'm rather proud of.

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 22:51:12 GMT

9 days till we get our marriage licence, 13 days until we are married.

Egad!

The reception is going to be at Paradise Beach Park in Tiburon on October 25th, if you'd like to come, but haven't received the Evite, it's because I don't have your email. It's going to be very casual, BBQ and whatnot, no gifts. Food or beverage additions admired and not required.

On a related note...if you are not yet registered to vote DO IT NOW! Make sure that you are registered for your own address so that you can make it to your local poling place.

Why is this relevant?

No on Prop 8, that's why.

Because I would like to stay legally married, thank you.

Also, you must be registered to vote against McCain/Palin. Seriously. McCain is not very healthy and Palin is evil, stupid and crazy. If you don't know why then I will gladly tell you at length, but rather than getting all bothered about it at my college library (where I am typing this currently) I will leave you with this link to one of Kaellie's entries http://sexualjesus.livejournal.com/118048.html. If you missed the VP debate this will cover it for you. I wish that Tina Fey's portrayal on SNL were an exaggeration.

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 06:53:49 GMT

Had a serendipitous evening. I'm not enough of a writer to put it down well, I think it's enough to say that sometimes it's really satisfying to go with your instincts. Kaellie and I had a beautiful interaction tonight with a near stranger in a resauraunt. What she calls a Celestine moment (a la The Celestine Prophesy), which esentially means that sometimes things happen for a reason, and a life lesson can come from an apparent coincidence. It was lovely.

* * *

Being a bum has it's upside. After four and a half years, the library renovations have an end in sight. All I have to do is buy screws and I will have everything set to build the bench into the closet. I have plans, on printer paper unfortunately, so they aren't official. Tomorrow I may transfer them onto a paper towel, since I have neither bar napkins nor paper coasters.

I have a coupon for $25 stump removal which means that I could conceivably chop down some of the many apple trees in the backyard (you should really never throw apple cores out in the back yard and expect them to go away) and not be tripping over their corpses for the next 10 years. As long as each cluster is one stump I should be good, if not well...there are clumps of two, four, five and six trees, thats a lot of $25s.

A dump run is scheduled for tomorrow. Hurrah. Much like apples, garbage put in the backyard never goes away either...funny that.

I may paint the dog's room next week, depends on whether we can pick colors. We have agreed that it should certainly not be the present shade (baby poop brown) but what color it should be is more elusive.

Alas, a lack of $20,000 means that the bathrooms and the kitchen remain in stasis. Kaellie is supposed to win the lottery in the next month though, so those should be taken care of in no time. I wonder if it would be inappropriate, in a drought, to install a hot tub in place of a bath tub?

The Job Hunt

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:15:52 GMT

Looking for work is always a kick. Sometimes in the pants, sometimes in the teeth.

Since I'm still really just beginning my search I still have a sense of humor about it, refraining with great fortitude the temptation to tell a prospective employer to go fuck themselves when they want me to perform a high level management job for minimum wage (seriously, when your district manager is making $8.00 per hour, what are the entry level employees making?).

My greatest prospect right now (greatest because they actually responded to my application) is for a place that calls itself Love Journey Tantra. They have a website, it's pink and purple. They might turn out to be the biggest hippies in Sebastopol (they asked for my birth information so they could do my astrological chart). But they might be interested in paying me what I'm worth and I'm very positive on that.

Right now though, I work in a Shop. Even sitting at the computer I get grease under my nails. I work with Guys, they ride dirt bikes and race things and own guns and their idea of a balanced breakfast is Tums with their chili cheese fries.

I think the Tantra people might be spritually and morally against chili cheese fries.

I still hope that I get the job though. I think an 8 mile commute is really sexy (or is that Tantric?) and I'm a sucker for anyplace I can wear jeans to work.

Just to make sure, I plan to ask whether they have ever refered to anyone as a mundane or a muggle. If the answer is yes, I'll hit them with a brick and run.

For Hire

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:43:18 GMT

I have an awesome job. I'm the office manager of a machine shop in Windsor. The commute is pretty good, I have my own office, I park right outside my door, the place is small and almost entirely drama free, dress code is completely casual, if I want to take off for a week and go on an adventure I can without issue.

On the downside, I'm probably not going to be here very much longer.

My predecessor was an embezzler, she stole $250,000 in two and a half years. This is a pretty small business (8 employees total) so that was a pretty hefty sum. The economy sucking and customers going overseas for product means that business is also just plain bad. The owner has decided to downsize. Everyone except me and one machinist has been laid off. As soon as our existing orders are filled that machinist is going to be laid off too. I'm probably going to be here until I've finished liquidating unnecessary assets, maybe two weeks, maybe two months.

So I'm looking for a new job. In a perfect world, it would be exactly like this one. Seeing as how I don't live in a perfect world (yet) I'll settle for anything that pays reasonably.

I have a resume, I have a generic cover letter, I have a letter of reference from the owner. I will pass any drug test or background check and my DMV record is clean. If you think you might know someone who would like to hire me, I would love to hear about it. The job market is really bad right now, as anyone who is currently looking is aware. If any of you are looking, let me know what for and I'll keep my ears open for you while I search.

Off to see the headhunter...

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:59:51 GMT

I have the house to myself three nights a week while Kaellie is at school. This tends to inspire me to fits of domesticity such as learning how to cook Japanese food and doing mountains of laundry.

My most recent foray was partially inspired by stacymckenna, and partially inspired by the fact that for the first time since moving into this house, I have managed to remember that it is plum season before the fruit goes all alcoholic and windfall on me. I decided to try making plum jam. One of my cookbooks even had a recipe. I have modified it, per my experience.

-Pick enough miniature yellow plums to fill a 6qt mixing bowl
-Slap self in head and arm in attempt to dislodge fuzzy bunnies* which are falling out of their warrens** out of the never before disturbed tree.
-Rinse plums under cold water, drain and repeat
-Pit plums by halving, the half that comes away from the pit neatly should go in a large mixing bowl, the half which does not should go on the floor, down your shirt or as a last resort, in your mouth.
-Pick more plums, try not to stand under the disturbed branches
-Rinse plums, fingers have turned a lovely shade of apricot from the plum skins, file information away in case ever go mad, decide to home make dye
-Measure out 6 cups pitted plums and 3 cups sugar into large stock pot
-Set over medium high heat, stir until sugar has liquefied
-Realize that large stockpot necessary for sterilizing of jam jars.
-Transfer plum/sugar slurry to large sauce pan, sized to fit whole side of beef
-Set over medium high heat
-Pile dirty dishes into one side of sink, wash stockpot, remember not quite in time to pour water out of pot away from self
-Throw dishtowels onto large puddle of water on floor, figure shirt will dry over stove.
-Fill stockpot with clean water, set on stove to boil over high heat
-Discover plum mixture developing menacing froth, on brink of Mona Loa style eruption
-Stir plum mixture until calm, perhaps just beaten into temporary submission
-Stir in dash of cinnamon, as dash from industrial sized cinnamon container is approx three tablespoons, one dash will be sufficient.
-Reduce heat to low
-Place one canning jar into boiling water leave for ten minutes
-Using candy thermometer, check plum mixture to see if it has attained the magic 224 degrees
-Decide that cookbook author had mutant Victorian coal stove to attain 224 degrees at low
-Turn up heat to medium, stir occasionally
-Check temperature once more with candy thermometer
-Decide that 224 degrees is really quite hot, set burner to high, stirring continuously to avoid accidental invocation of Pele on expensive stove.
-Decide that 224 degrees is nigh unattainable, 200 degrees must be good enough, reduce heat to low
-Test for jelling by placing one teaspoon full of plum mixture on plate which should have been put in freezer ten minutes ago
-Put plate in freezer
-Discover that silicone covered tongs, imagined to be in the utensil drawer were in fact imaginary, no tongs present
-Using wooden spoon and silicone spatula, scoop canning jar out of boiling water slide onto counter
-Place other canning jar into boiling water
-Scour cookbook to determine whether lids are supposed to be sterilized too, discover that idiot author must be under impression that only people reading recipes already know what they are doing
-Decide to split difference, put lids in boiling water with second jar for remaining five minutes
-Remove cold plate from freezer, spoon one teaspoonful onto plate, place in fridge for two minutes
-Remove canning jar from boiling water, congratulate self for not breaking boiling hot glass jars on floor while barefoot
-Pour most of boiling water out of pot into sink, away from self, as have learned from mistakes, am now smarter
-Fish lids out of blistering hot stockpot using slotted spoons
-Congratulate self on invention of new, dangerous carnival game
-Remove plate with cooled would-be jam from fridge, test for jelling
-Discover have no earthly idea what exactly constitutes jelling, assume good enough
-Spoon plum jam triumphantly onto first canning jar
-Get ladle
-Ladle plum jam triumphantly into first canning jar, fill to brim
-Spoon jam back into sauce pan, was supposed to fill to within ¼” of brim
-Ladle remainder of jam into second jar
-Set lids on canning jars, assuring good seal, tighten rings.
-Leave on stove to cool
-After several hours check that lids have sunk
-Check consistency by inverting jar
-Decide that whatever jelled might mean, this is not it
-Sacrifice sterility of half-filled jar to taste test with wife
-Discover have made peach cobbler (without cakey bits), stove or self must have magical alchemic powers, will next attempt turning of lead to gold, success to be followed by hiring of personal chef

*spiders
**webs

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 22:18:30 GMT

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.
Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.

First Name: Rachel, or Rach or Wensday or Wednesday

Age: 26, I think, maybe 27. I'd have to do the math to be sure and I don't feel like it.

Location: Rohnert Park, CA (aka the creepy suburbs). In a house that is in a perpetual state of renovation, and will be probably until it falls right off the foundation.

Occupation: Office Manager at a Machine Shop. It's okay if you don't know what that is, most people don't. Basically we make parts, all kinds of parts...duck calls, gun bits, bicycle thingies, optics, hoopajoops what go in bombs...sometimes we don't even know what it is. I push paper and make sure that the other employees' work lives run smoothly. All in all its a little boring, but almost entirely drama-free. I love that.

Partner(s): My wife, who will be my wife again/some more in October. We're having a party to celebrate on 10/25. You're all invited. Yes, you too. And your date. Sure, bring the kids.

Kids: Later

Pets: Seven cats of vastly varried sizes- Morganna, Gwendolyn, Page, Orlando, Toby, Finnegan and Aurora. Two big hairy black dogs - Galileo and Trouble. Five goldfish who used to have names, but then they went from being different colors to all being bright orange so now we only recognise Nemo (so named because he has a lucky fin).

School: Tamalpais High and City College and College of Marin and Santa Rose Junior College and American Seminary College...I dabble in getting an education, but when it comes down to it, I really hate school.

Brothers/Sisters: my cousin Bethany is my kind-of-sister. She's two weeks and two days older, we spent most of our childhoods together, alternately loved and hated each other...but I'm my parents' only kid. Have a brother-outlaw now though, named Qrys (pronounced Chris). He'll be a brother-in-law in a few months.

Parents: Still married, believe it or not. My mom is a realtor, my dad is slightly brain damaged from getting the chicken pox when I was a kid. My mom is a big over-achiever, my dad makes electronic gadjets that he would sell if he were a sales type guy, but he's not. She's a yuppie, he's a hippie. It works for them.

Health: Pretty darn good actually. The sprains and breaks and their accompanying casts and braces and walkers and crutches that were my most recogniseable feature for years are gone and I'm pretty normal most of the time. I gimp still in super cold weather (snow in April, sheesh) or around hour 12 of theme parking but it certainly doesn't stop me from running back to the front of the line for just one more ride on Space Mountain. I'm also at one year of no smoking (sometimes I could still kill for one, but I don't).

List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life at the moment:
1) Will be getting legally married in the eyes of the state in a few months
2) Taking more classes in the fall, probably welding and accounting
3) The house. My summer project will be the library. And painting the dogs' room (yes, they have their own bedroom) I hope.